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Allie HaganWriter and humorist, Suri's Burn Book GET UPDATES FROM Allie Hagan Like 1 Suri's Burn BookPosted: 09/06/2012 2:50 am React
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Katie Holmes, Suri Cruise, Tom Cruise, Disney World, Katie Holmes Divorce, Suri, The Hamptons, Tom Cruise Divorce, Tom Cruise Katie Holmes Divorce, Tomkat, Tomkat Divorce, Divorce News#news_entries #ad_sharebox_260x60 img {padding:0px;margin:0px} share this story Submit this storydiggredditstumble
On my blog, Suri's Burn Book (and in its print form), I portray Suri Cruise as a take-no-prisoners perfectionist, like Anna Wintour in miniature. (Call it "The Devil Wears Bonpoint"). It's easy to imagine her this way when we see her heading to a late-night New York dinner in kitten heels and Marc Jacobs. But in the wake of the dissolution of the once-mighty Holmes-Cruise empire, many people -- and especially me -- are reimagining the realities of Suri's young life.
Even though the TomKat split felt out of the blue for everyone (apparently even Tom), there had been rumors of trouble in paradise for a while. I always chose to ignore them, fearing that scandal or divorce would make the silliness of Suri's Burn Book stop being fun, for me and for readers. Earlier this year, I was near panic when Katie didn't walk the Oscars red carpet with her husband, who was presenting Best Picture. (What else could Katie possibly have had going on? A Razzies after party with the cast of Jack and Jill?) I breathed a huge sigh of relief when she showed up for the Vanity Fair party and did this.
When news of the split broke, I was selfishly terrified. Suri's Burn Book is frivolous and sarcastic -- two words I wouldn't want to associate with the actual struggles that kids face. I didn't write about Mariah Carey's twins during Nick Cannon's health scare, and I don't write about Heidi and Seal's kids nearly as often as I did before the breakup. I feel like I'm still getting over that heartbreak, and I don't live with them.
Up until this summer, it had been hard not to see Suri as an indulged primadonna, doted on by her extremely privileged family and the media alike. It's what made her the obvious choice when I decided to write my blog about celebrity children from the perspective of one of their own. But for every photo of her rolling her eyes at her mom, there are many more of them smiling together. She is obviously a much-loved little girl. I just generally don't use the photos of her where she's behaving in a way that's antithetical to the character I pretend she is: being koala-carried by her mom, wearing flip-flops, picking her nose. (Google it -- she's a chronic nose-picker.) After her parents' split, I had to wonder if it was fair to keep posting pictures of her at all. Despite the way the media and her own parents present her, she's a 6-year-old girl who is now going through something really hard. I can't imagine how I would feel if my parents split up now, let alone when I was 6.
When she threw a temper tantrum over a puppy at a pet store, was she being an entitled brat or acting out in a rough period of time?
When she demands that Katie carries her, is she being petulant and lazy or is her heart heavy and she's too overwhelmed to look at the paparazzi?
When Tom whisks her away to the Hamptons by helicopter and to Disney World by private jet, is he making the most of his limited time with his daughter or is he putting on a show for the media -- with the world's cutest prop?
Like many curious outsiders, I have these questions swirling around in my brain. For the most part, I've chosen not to post these pictures at all. Mostly, it's because my version of Suri would never admit to clinging to Katie or smiling lovingly at Tom, whom she sees as the two most embarrassing humans on the planet. It's business as usual from where I sit: Tom will continue to be a loathsome troll, Katie an unkempt disaster, and the rest of the celebrity offspring a tremendous disappointment to my heroine. But there's a twinge of sadness there that I don't want to poke at -- the possibility that Suri is losing her mind not because she's a drama queen who just spilled her ice cream, but because her life is complicated and evolving right now. (Those pet store pout pics were hard to pass up, though.)
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Suri's Burn Book: Well-Dressed Commentary from Hollywood's Little Sweetheartby Allie Hagan FOLLOW DIVORCE Like 6k Get Alerts #ad_bottom_article_text {margin-bottom: 15px} Suri CruiseTom CruiseKatie HolmesOn my blog, Suri's Burn Book (and in its print form), I portray Suri Cruise as a take-no-prisoners perfectionist, like Anna Wintour in miniature. (Call it "The Devil Wears Bonpoint"). It's easy to ima...On my blog, Suri's Burn Book (and in its print form), I portray Suri Cruise as a take-no-prisoners perfectionist, like Anna Wintour in miniature. (Call it "The Devil Wears Bonpoint"). It's easy to ima... More in Divorce...
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View AllFavorites Recency | Popularity Page: 1 2 3 Next › Last » (3 total) Richard G Morrison38 Fans 20 minutes ago ( 5:23 AM)Seek some other source of income. Leave the child alone!Richard_G_Morrison: Seek some other source of income. Leave the child alone!http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Richard_G_Morrison/suri-cruise_b_1859299_184729755.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATORCynth[Your ad here.]944 Fans 7 hours ago (10:36 PM)Way to capitalize on an innocent child who did nothing to deserve the relentless attention and mockery except by being born into her circumstances. She is a private citizen and a minor, she should not be made into a vehicle for humor, satire, or sarcasm. This piece reads like a defense of the author's work: If you need to explain or defend this, you shouldn't be doing it.Cynth: Way to capitalize on an innocent child who did nothinghttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Cynth/suri-cruise_b_1859299_184653574.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share it Richard G Morrison38 Fans 51 minutes ago ( 4:52 AM)Absolutely; Precisely. You are fanned!Richard_G_Morrison: Absolutely; Precisely. You are fanned!http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Richard_G_Morrison/suri-cruise_b_1859299_184727712.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments…This comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… Karmamayslapya41 Fans 12 hours ago ( 5:25 PM)Bring politics into a subject that has nothing to do with it is obsurd! Just worry about your own family and don't make assumptions- How does that old addage go? Make an assumption only makes an a$$ out of you! That is all :DKarmamayslapya: Bring politics into a subject that has nothing to dohttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Karmamayslapya/suri-cruise_b_1859299_184559377.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share it
larrymanbandana12 Fans 8 hours ago ( 9:58 PM)How does this not have to do with politics? EVERYTHING has to do with politics.larrymanbandana: How does this not have to do with politics? EVERYTHINGhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/larrymanbandana/suri-cruise_b_1859299_184643526.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments…This comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… Karmamayslapya41 Fans 12 hours ago ( 5:22 PM)Children of her age are not fully capable of understanding why mom and dad split up but if they work together, the child will not show so many emotions and feelings of agression and anger as in the children I saw who have parents who are constantly at each others throats!Karmamayslapya: Children of her age are not fully capable of understandinghttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Karmamayslapya/suri-cruise_b_1859299_184558615.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… patspov28 Fans 13 hours ago ( 4:55 PM)Leave the poor child alone. It is the civil and humane thing to do.patspov: Leave the poor child alone. It is the civil andhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/patspov/suri-cruise_b_1859299_184549045.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… left in vermontgo ahead. tread on them.436 Fans 13 hours ago ( 4:27 PM)Lemme guess. She's sad.left_in_vermont: Lemme guess. She's sad.http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/left_in_vermont/suri-cruise_b_1859299_184538559.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share it Karmamayslapya41 Fans 12 hours ago ( 5:23 PM)How would you feel? Seriously? blehKarmamayslapya: How would you feel? Seriously? blehhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Karmamayslapya/suri-cruise_b_1859299_184558774.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share it left in vermontgo ahead. tread on them.436 Fans 10 hours ago ( 7:39 PM)Here's the thing. All of us go through hard times. People come and go, our hearts get broken, people we love die. I am guessing, that whatever Suri Cruise is going through, she will get through it. The media obsession with her has nothing to do with her, it's that her parents are famous. Pain is pain, no matter who you are.what do I think of celebrity news?
Meh.left_in_vermont: Here's the thing. All of us go through hard times.http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/left_in_vermont/suri-cruise_b_1859299_184603037.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation.
Loading comments… larrymanbandana12 Fans 8 hours ago (10:00 PM)I WOULD FEEL POTATO!larrymanbandana: I WOULD FEEL POTATO!http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/larrymanbandana/suri-cruise_b_1859299_184643868.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments…This comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments…This comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… HUFFPOST SUPER USERsee-ellen2001350 Fans 13 hours ago ( 4:21 PM)She's a KID. A KID going thru a rough patch. She is not obligated to act anything like some robotic child. Get over it and leave the kid alone.see-ellen2001: She's a KID. A KID going thru a rough patch.http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/see-ellen2001/suri-cruise_b_1859299_184536456.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… MonkeyDaddyAgent of Evolution137 Fans 14 hours ago ( 3:50 PM)Just please leave the kid alone, have some decency, respect some privacy. Find something relevant to write about.MonkeyDaddy: Just please leave the kid alone, have some decency, respecthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/MonkeyDaddy/suri-cruise_b_1859299_184525467.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… LetsTalkReality9 Fans 14 hours ago ( 3:47 PM)I worry about my own family. I say let these people live their own lives. Spreading rumors and innuendos is so middle school. Worry about the country and VOTE!LetsTalkReality: I worry about my own family. I say let thesehttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/LetsTalkReality/suri-cruise_b_1859299_184524260.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share it opiniongirl185647 Fans 13 hours ago ( 4:39 PM)YES VOTE OBAMA / . BIDEN 2012for more years of Harmony Love and Peace =)opiniongirl18: YES VOTE OBAMA / . BIDEN 2012 for more yearshttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/opiniongirl18/suri-cruise_b_1859299_184542917.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation.
Loading comments… Karmamayslapya41 Fans 12 hours ago ( 5:23 PM)Just worry about your own family.Karmamayslapya: Just worry about your own family.http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Karmamayslapya/suri-cruise_b_1859299_184558906.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments…This comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… IrishgirlsUSA42 Fans 14 hours ago ( 3:36 PM)Time to leave her alone now. Find a spoilt adult to pick on and write about or find your own voice and write about yourself.IrishgirlsUSA: Time to leave her alone now. Find a spoilt adulthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/IrishgirlsUSA/suri-cruise_b_1859299_184520152.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… HUFFPOST SUPER USERlongnowOWS vs Citizens United311 Fans 15 hours ago ( 3:11 PM)I glanced through the recent huge layout and story on the divorced Katiein one of the major women's magazines and all I can say
is, ¿?¿?¿?¡ IOW, why, and how is it possible and good luck to
all three.longnow: I glanced through the recent huge layout and story onhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/longnow/suri-cruise_b_1859299_184511645.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation.
Loading comments… hectorclamsauce59 Fans 15 hours ago ( 3:06 PM)Every time I see Suri or Kardashian on the front page, I loose a little more faith in this organization.hectorclamsauce: Every time I see Suri or Kardashian on the fronthttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/hectorclamsauce/suri-cruise_b_1859299_184509883.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… ByeByeBushie358 Fans 15 hours ago ( 3:05 PM)I think you think way too much about a little girl you don't, and will never know.ByeByeBushie: I think you think way too much about a littlehttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/ByeByeBushie/suri-cruise_b_1859299_184509376.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATORLilly-G3682 Fans 15 hours ago ( 2:52 PM)Suri may have all the money and luxuries in the world, but her personal life will never be her own.Lilly-G: Suri may have all the money and luxuries in thehttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Lilly-G/suri-cruise_b_1859299_184505071.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… HUFFPOST SUPER USERMelanieGagnonBe yourself; everyone else is already taken37 Fans 15 hours ago ( 2:52 PM)This author is spending too much time caring about someone else's kid. Try maybe focusing and the starvng children of Africa.MelanieGagnon: This author is spending too much time caring about someonehttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/MelanieGagnon/suri-cruise_b_1859299_184505016.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share it Isnt that special29 Fans 13 hours ago ( 4:20 PM)Right on.... was looking for someone to make this kind of comment or else I would have... Thanks MelanieGagnon!!! :-)Isnt_that_special: Right on.... was looking for someone to make this kindhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/Isnt_that_special/suri-cruise_b_1859299_184536311.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… tobeckon4 Fans 11 hours ago ( 6:55 PM)Plenty of kids here in the USA.tobeckon: Plenty of kids here in the USA.http://www.huffingtonpost.com/social/tobeckon/suri-cruise_b_1859299_184589378.htmlHistory |Permalink |Share itThis comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments…This comment has been down-ranked into oblivion. View comment You have not right to carry out this operation or Error this operation. Loading comments… Page: 1 2 3 Next › Last » (3 total) new comment(s) on this entry — Click to refreshLoading comments… 1 2 3 4 5 See All Highlights in 
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