‘Vegas’: Is Dennis Quaid finally home on the range?

Image Credit: Lorey Sebastian/CBS

If you’re going to launch a new TV show around a face, you could do a lot worse than Dennis Quaid’s twisted scowl underneath a cowboy hat. In Vegas, which premiered last night on CBS, Quaid plays a wily cattle rancher whose way of life in 1960 Las Vegas is threatened as the Strip’s neon lights get brighter and brighter. Michael Chiklis’s cityslick gangster-slash-casino-mogul took a back seat in the premiere, as Quaid’s Ralph Lamb — a savvy Army sleuth in his younger days — is recruited by his old pal, the mayor of Vegas, to solve the murder of a pretty young casino employee. By the end of the episode, Lamb proves his mettle with his fists, his shotgun, and his noodle. Presto: He’s the city’s new sheriff.

That badge is likely to set him on a collision course with Chiklis’s Vincent Savino, who comes to fix some bugs in his casino operation and stake his claim on the booming city. Savino couldn’t help but be impressed by Lamb at first, though — the good ol’ boy barely flinched after being popped in the face by an airport goon and recovered to dispatch three younger men with his fists. Lamb and Savino might be on different sides of the law, but the mobster would likely admit that the cowboy is his kind of guy. Nevertheless, Savino’s hands are dirty, and when he tells a confidante at the end of the pilot, “I’ll handle [Lamb] when the time comes,” there’s no doubting his conviction.

Quaid’s shift to television will be interesting to follow — especially because his movie career remains as busy as ever. His days of carrying big studio films might be over, but the last 10 years have produced some of his best performances, including Far From Heaven, In Good Company, and HBO’s The Special Relationship. Yet he’s never fully been appreciated for his work on film — zero Oscar nominations — and seeing him in his cowboy duds made me think Sheriff Ralph Lamb might be a natural fit that could turn in to a long-term gig.

Of course, he’s not the first (or 30th) male movie star to make the transition from screen to tube. Alec Baldwin and Steve Buscemi nailed it. Christian Slater and Josh Lucas, not so much. The pilot for Vegas didn’t exactly show its hand last night — it seemed content with simply solving a color-by-numbers CBS murder mystery in order to establish Lamb’s credentials. Future episodes will likely delve into the murky underbelly of the casinos and hopefully depict the shifting relationship between two wary rivals. With some luck, Quaid will find himself home on the range for more than one season.

What did you think of the premiere? What do you think of Dennis Quaid, TV Star?

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‘Dancing With the Stars’: Eliminated pair is….

Update: Annie’s recap is live.

Spoiler ahead! Pitbull’s glowsticks rave and Justin Bieber’s so-not-fetch attempt to introduce leather MC Hammer pants into the ballroom have concluded. After a two-hour results special on DWTS: All-Stars premiere week, one of 13 Sparkalien couples has been cast off of Planet Mirrorballus. ‘Tis a cruel and unusual society they’ve got going on up there. The two eliminated dancers on Week 1 are…..

Pamela Anderson and Tristan MacManus.

Drew Lachey and Anna Trebunskaya joined Pam and Tristan in the bottom two.

No brainer, right? But poor Tristan!

Kirstie Alley in heat and Tom Bergeron in cigarette-miming cool-down mode would like to encourage you to appraise EW.com’s Hidden Gems of the ‘All-Stars’ premiere!

Stay tuned for my full recap later on. Here it is!

https://twitter.com/EWAnnieBarrett

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Video reply time! Ask Annie anything about ‘DWTS’ — or whatever — below.

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‘The New Normal’ episode 4: Let’s talk about how not racist we are!

Tonight Bryan (Andrew Rannells) and David (Justin Bartha) threw a dinner party to prove to Nana (Ellen Barkin) that they have black friends. Which would mean they’re not racist. She said they were racist for voting for Obama because he’s black, even though they don’t have black friends. And as far as I could tell, they weren’t saying they’d vote for Obama because he’s black. I think they were planning on voting for him for other reasons, but if they realized that, there wouldn’t have been an episode so let’s just go with it.

Anyway, they figured they’d get the nasty Nana whose family has been voting Republican since the Lincoln-era by proving her wrong. So Bryan said some kind of funny, kind of intentionally racist stuff (“He’s of a hue,” about Amir, an Indian friend; “Maybe we can get the cast of Treme to come. I sat next to them at the Golden Globes last year.”)  and invited his black assistant Rocky  (NeNe Leakes, fabulous as ever) to a party to be attended by a Republican — which, in Ryan Murphy’s world, is clearly synonymous with the devil. Only problem is that no black people showed up. Even Rocky just brought white friends (or, as Bryan hoped they were, “black albinos.” He was hoping for “less Bronte, more Pointer.”). ”It’s just that the blond imperial wizard is coming and everyone here is whiter than any woman who’s had Ambien sex with Tiger Woods,” Bryan said.

The dinner party had lots of fun party conversation involving topics like “affordable health care,” “a woman’s right to choose,” and “personal responsibility.” Fun! Fun! Sounds like some people prepped for their dinner party conversation by reading every page of the Democratic and Republican party websites. The one actual non-employee black guest was Rocky’s hottie brother who had a thing for Goldie. And hold on to your stereotypes, viewers! He’s a Republican. (In an earlier cut of this episode, Nana says to him, “You’re like the Loch Ness monster with an Afro.” And who said there were no wise censors?) Then Nana did some really evil (evil-evil, not Republican evil) stuff and tricked Bryan and David into revealing that Goldie is carrying their baby, because that’s the only way Nana could think of keeping Goldie from dating a black man.

All in all, another Issue-filled episode from this Issue-filled series. I’m pretty sure I got what they were going for, but you never know. They say so many racist things to prove that they’re not really racist. Or maybe they are and it doesn’t matter. Or maybe it does and they’re not. Or forget race, just vote. And don’t tell anyone who you’re voting for unless you’re voting for Obama. All I know is the last line of the episode (when the black husband to an Asian-American wife said, “This is perfect! We were just saying we needed some gay friends”) was kind of genius. And I’m starting to feel bad for Ellen Barkin for signing on to this sitcom. It’s one thing to play a Jack Donaghy-esque parody. It’s another to play just a downright mean person. Not much she does would be considered funny were it not on a sitcom.

What do you all think? Can you believe NBC aired such a pro-Obama episode? Do you wish Ryan Murphy would go for more laughs and fewer Lessons? Do you miss Shania’s Little Edie?

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Famous friends team up for Joey Ramone video ‘New York City’ — Watch now

Joey Ramone‘s been dead for more than a decade but his legacy lives on — literally. All sorts of fans, friends, and celebrities have teamed up in a new video for his hometown anthem “New York City.” Shot by filmmaker Greg Jardin, the stop-motion video features appearances from the likes of Andrew W.K., Matt & Kim, comedians Kristen Schaal and Scott Adsit, and foodie-troubadour Anthony Bourdain. It’s a loving tribute to one of punk’s most prominent figures.

A deluxe edition of Joey’s final solo record, …Ya Know?, will be released Nov. 23 on BMG.

Watch the video after the jump.

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‘New Girl’ season 2 premiere: Cast, away!

Image Credit: Adam Taylor/Fox

Raise your glasses and take off your penis casts, Newbies! Jess and her band of misfit boys are back! Last night’s double barrel premiere saw all the highs and lows of a quirky, button-nosed rollercoaster, from fire dancing to thwarted bathroom sex. Now to it!

The first ep, “Re-launch” rightly centered on Schmidt’s genitalia — old and unimproved, but no longer broken! Upon getting his cast removed, he rushed to host a “re-branding event,” and the theme would be “Danger” (perhaps inadvisable considering the party was about his penis). Nonetheless, it was on, and he planned to invite all the usual suspects — his urologist, badminton partner, and financial planner, plus Philip Seymour Hoffman, the ladies from Lululemon, “a guy who once wrote for a little show called Crank Yankers,” and, oh yeah, Cece. (More on that later.)

But amidst this celebration, there was some bad news: Jess was laid off, despite spending the summer tutoring a kid named Vaj Rijuv and not laughing once (not once!). While fielding the guys’ creepy sympathy faces, she seriously entertained the idea of allowing a hospital to infect her with dengue fever for a quick buck but ultimately appointed herself Schmidt’s party planner, largely based on her complete availability and her ability to make “any kind of balloon animal — as long as it’s a worm… or a snake.” She was quickly shut down, though Schmidt would offer her the chance to be his second-string shot girl. This is where Nick came in to disqualify Jess for not having “that specific hotness that shames men into spending $9 on a $2 shot.”

At Nick’s challenge, Jess made a mission of becoming the hottest shot girl in the world (or at least Nick’s bar). This notion instantly struck fear into Schmidt’s heart — and rightly. She adopted a stripper name of Ivy and affected a “sexy” whisper voice that could have convinced most medical professionals she was suffering from an obstructed airway. Mostly, though, she just looked like the bastard lovechild of a 1930s cigar girl and Columbia from Rocky Horror. Apparently the teeny tiny silver top hat she got as a layoff consolation gift qualified as “hot.” (For his part, Nick likened her outfit to a turn-of-the-century bathing costume.)

Meanwhile, the ”26-year-old” first-string shot girl Casey (Parker Posey) came with a long list of demands (“I don’t work with amateurs. I don’t split tips. If things get a little freaky in here, I’m out the door because I’m a little diabetic, and I don’t need a hassle. And also, I do accept payment in the form of whip-its — because I’ve got a Ph.D.”) She was, of course, way better than Jess at shot girl-ing, for a variety of reasons, not least of which because Jess took to asking people questions while pouring liquor down their gullets.

Posey’s role was sort of a head-scratcher. Maybe she’s being tested as a temporary (albeit missing-half-her-brain) love interest for Schmidt? You see, Schmidt and Cece are still very much broken up, with no signs of reuniting (their continued charming rapport notwithstanding). You see, Cece found a new fellow named Robbie who at first blush was not only the anti-Schmidt but also the anti-any-girl-would-want this. Physically? Schmidt referred to him as “the one shaped like the Liberty Bell.” Financially? Schmidt called him “the commoner.” Though he did speculate that Robbie must be “workin’ with a real piece of pipe”… because why else would Cece date him? It certainly wasn’t the dance moves or the conversational verve. Despite Robbie’s drip-itude and Schmidt’s truly epic failure of a fire-spinning routine (in khakis!), it was Robbie — not Schmidt — who left the party with Cece. And so back to Ms. Posey. Perhaps she’ll yet be on the receiving end of some Schmidt cheese metaphors? Or perhaps she was just called in to be Parker Posey for a little bit. That remains to be seen.

What is clear is that Jess is not cut out for the high-stakes life of a shot girl. Just when she really got into the spirit of things and executed a hilariously Jess-y jazz-hand-and-kickline-punctuated bar dance to LMFAO’s “Put Your Ass to Work,” Jess realized she didn’t have enough emotional distance from her teaching career to start her next chapter, and Nick gave a great tough love pep talk (even if the shots about her “plywood ass” went too far). In related news, I can officially confirm that their chemistry is still sizzling. I did appreciate that the season started with them firmly as friends so as not to force the development of their relationship too quickly, but must we have been taunted with no less than three almost-kiss moments?

Final mini-arc from “Relaunch”: Winston gets “naughty” — and very Randy Watson- esque – when he indulges in Nick’s specialty fruit cocktails. We’re talking “Groove Is in the Heart”-singing naughty. Then again, Nick is that kind of naughty while soberly taking his morning, so….

NEXT: “Katie knows how the sausage gets made”

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Ann Romney on ‘Tonight Show’: ‘This is a guy that I know cares’

Image Credit: Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

Making her first late-night talk show appearance, Ann Romney stopped by The Tonight Show with Jay Leno last night. Unfortunately, there wasn’t Beyonce love, but there was plenty of talk about Mitt.

The wife of Gov. Mitt Romney seemed a bit nervous for her big debut, but Leno guided her through her remarks, as she first spoke about the emergency landing her plane had to make last week. Leno asked her about Romney’s odd-seeming comment,”[airplane] windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that.” The audience laughed, but Mrs. Romney just said that of course he didn’t mean it seriously, and that was just his was of showing that he was worried and he cared.

Romney Cares! could easily have been the theme of the interview. Beyond the airplane comments, Mrs. Romeny emphasized how much her husband cares about America — particularly needed in light of Romney’s now-infamous “47% comment” caught on video. Asked specifically about the tape, Ann said, “This is  a guy that I know cares. …We care about the 100%,” and “There are two things [I know]: He cares, and he’s competent.”

In the second segment, Mrs. Romney spoke a little bit more about her and Gov. Romney’s 43-year marriage (the couple met in high school), sharing that, “He’s a workaholic at work, and when he comes home he’s a playaholic [when their children were growing up].”

Interestingly, Leno brought up the couple’s Mormon beliefs, asking what it would mean for America if elected. “I love the fact that we have the first African-American President,” she said. “That means to me that we’re leaving prejudices behind. If Mitt were elected, that would mean more of the same.”

This post will be updated with video from the appearance once available.

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‘Dancing With the Stars’: Your Hidden Gems of the ‘All-Stars’ premiere!

Studies have shown that Hidden Gems of the Week, EW.com’s collection of reader-submitted ridiculata, is the best way to enjoy Dancing With the Stars without ever having to turn it on. It’s a visual feast of sparkles, fringe, and stunning awkwardness. Ready to go down the rabbit hole? Behold this bountiful smattering of Visible Gems!

MOST VALUABLE GEM (MVG) OF THE WEEK

“Pam’s eye roll/hair twirl when the camera focused on Bristol.” –gigi, endorsed by JAYBES, orville1970, AT, Ktbanks, Lorie, Fridgedancer, johoallen, daphne99, Wiltasaurus, Jem H

“Doesn’t the leg part of Kym’s full body fringe remind us ladies of what it looks like to take the sweat pants off after a long, cold winter?? ” –Christy Who Never Dances

“Joey Fatone’s F-note on his lapel” –iggy, endorsed by Fridgedancer

“Helio and Chelsea’s handshake before their dance was very reminiscent of the one young Lindsay Lohan did with her butler in The Parent Trap. Hip bumps ftw!” –Ktbanks

“Chelsie looks like one of those Barbie cakes you get at Target….” –gigi

“Bruno saying Helio wasn’t that great tonight, and Chelsie going “OHHH” like Mario when he jumps on a spiky turtle and dies…” –Mickey021496, endorsed by gigi, Wiltasaurus

“Emmitt giving Apolo the death stare in the celebriquarium when he was getting his scores.” –Liz, endorsed by gigi

Tony pinched Tom’s butt!” –Fridgedancer
“Melissa is wearing a bedazzled dog collar.” –DonnaW

NEXT PAGE: Battle of the cute All-Star offspring!

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